TOO CLOSE
FOR COMFORT

Listen along while you

read the lyrics below.

Whenever you see this icon

hover over it to see insights and facts about the album

wow look at me i'm a cool factoid

.BIG STEP

[VERSE 1]

I walk outside the basement

All I see is 2 faces

People faking

I never thought I’d be the one to call em out

But here I am shaking

Their hands in disbelief

With a fake smile I grin the sheep

I never thought I’d be the wolf in this fairytale

I’m usually the ugly duckling

Can’t you tell

(cant you tell)

But lately I feel more Jack turning to Joker

Feel like gambling on poker

Feeling like setting a blaze arson

Been in this room so long

I’m starting to feel like Brie Larson

This was the first song recorded for the album. I thought the piano was perfect for an intro. As stated above, the first verse is the only written verse on the album.

[HOOK]

The world is quite funny lately

(is it funny, or is it sad?)

[VERSE 2]

I walk outside of my domicile

Personally I never thought the world

Fit my style

I never thought the world would be this vile

I seen a kid on the corner crying

As the other one smiled

I smiled too at the mother

She lacked all attention to her kids

Just like her father

Did before her

(And what'd she do?)

She'd set in shambles before she tell anybody

Passing down generational trauma

That's what my family taught me

Even when your feelings are hurt

Don't tell nobody

[PRE HOOK]

Make sure nobody thinks your weak

Make sure everyone thinks you succeed

No matter what your bank account

Or feelings be

.Lonely is The Night

This song was entirley made from my bed. If you think you hear a fan in the background, you're not imagining it. I had just had a seizure the night before. I was completely exauhsted and drained, but all I wanted to do was record music. One of the most geniune songs I've made. This song taught me to live in that very moment and record exactly how I'm feeling. My voice sounds so exauhsted on this song, and it is. I decided to leave a lot of this song the exact way I recorded it back in 2022. I love the real/rawness of this song, even the fan noise in the back..

[PRE HOOK]

Never with the family

In the bed I always be

(4x)

[HOOK]

Lonely, is the

(night, night)

All I want is

(light, light)

All I want is

(2x)

[VERSE 1]

Lonely, is the night

I thought about leaving you, just in spite

I thought about killing you, just to spite

I thought about loosing you

I could cry

Everyone acts like I'm ok

But I'm not ok

Is that ok?

(OK)

Ever since I was a kid

I thought about this

I wanted to live my life for myself, and all of my kids

But now that I can have it

I don't think that I want it

How could I bring a kid into this world, if were all unwanted?

Everyday I'm on this earth

I wish I wasn't

Cursing my parents for putting me on it

Everyday, I think about taking my last breath.

Taken for granted, and I wish I wasn't

[HOOK]

Lonely, is the

(night, night)

All I want is

(light, light)

All I want is

(2x)

[VERSE 2]

Taken for granted every single day

Woke up with an attitude

What the fuck, can I say?

Everyday I think about loosing you

Everyday I think about turning a new

A new page

A new script

Gonna beat the fuck out of

Whoever wrote this shit

Feeling homicidal

Going of the top

I feel like I should be on American idol

to tell myself no

(NO)

You ain't worth shit

(NO)

This ain't worth your breath

(NO)

Say it with your chest

(NO)

This is your last breath

(2x)

[VERSE 3]

Last chance going up alone

Slim chance, you can make it on your own

No chance, you can make a change

If I can make it out of the mud

I'll make it out of these chains

(Break these shackles of my mind)

Chains on my heart

Chains on my mind

If I can make a change, so can you

[PRE HOOK]

Never with the family

In the bed I always be

(4x)

[HOOK]

Lonely, is the

All I want is

(2x)

.Kali

[PRE]

I wanna feel like I belong somewhere, somehow

Most my life I feel like

I've been left out

Most my life I feel like I've been left out

[VERSE 2]

Left out of my family

Left out of my friend group

They even R.I.P'd me

And I aint even dead yet

Even though they wish I was

I'm still here recording rhymes

I can't give up no more time

I can't give up no more

Only time I feel liberated is when I'm on the microphone

My family don't even know that I make music

And I got like 3 albums on the way

I'm not ahsamed, I just don't want to hear no lecturing

People love to hold you down

Especially your kin

Everyone fakes like they know me

I don't want to hear shit when I win a grammy

[VERSE 1]

No more MIA

No more taking breaks

No more chasing fate

No more losing patience

Tell me congratulations

I want a standing ovation

Just for once I wanna feel

Like I'm worth something

[HOOK]

Just for once

I wanna feel

Like I'm worth

Something

(real)

(2x)

[HOOK]

Just for once

I wanna feel

Like I'm worth

Something

(real)

(2x)

[VERSE 3]

How long do you think I can last

In a world of past information

I think I wanna do it all again

Worlds crumbling

Tears falling again

But I still stand on my own two feet for now at least

Little ole me stuck in the apocalypse

World domination aftermath

Looking at books again

Trying to escape this world of mine

With headphones on looking at ink blots

Thinking of how I can pass time in this afterlife

How long did it last?

How long can you last?

In a world crumbling are you laughing out, loud

Or are you crying inside over family ties

What has died, is meant to die

And I hope you don't

Take it personal

This world isn't meant for you

It was hardly buitl for me

And I'm the alter ego too

I think I'm going crazy inside this battle station

I think I'm losing my mind

I think I'm losing my

I'll take all of your burdens for you

Take all that pain, take all that misery inside of your head too

I'm a falling star from the atmosphere

I landed in the ocean

I don't know how I got here

Life is sad

Burnt out

And I think I'm gonna die too

.Run Away From Me

[HOOK]

You can't

Run away from

Me tho

(22x)

Short and sweet. This is probably the most un-complicated song that I have ever made. I was working on my next album that follows this one, and had just gotten auto tune. This was the second song that I made with auto tune (The first is on the next album), and I did it just for testing purposes. At first it was not a song that I made to be released, but I found myself revisiting it over and over for months on end. While simple, I absolutely love all of the elements combined as a whole. This song is more a feeling than anything else. A perfect late night drive kind of vibe for sure.

@ 1:24 the backing hums that come in with the hook are my wife's vocals. I was showing her the song, and told her how fun auto tune was. I told her to try something over the beat, and the hums are what she came up with. I thought it was pefect backing, and decided to leave them in. "Why didn't I think of that??"

.Outta My

[HOOK]

Take it outta my

(Take it outta my)

(2x)

[VERSE 1]

Take it outta me

Take it outta my bag

Take it outta my bank

Take another drag

(2x)

Take one more fucking thin awaya from me, I'll kill ya

Just cause your nice, people take advantage of you

People by my side hurt me the most

Take advantage of me, and take me for a joke

I'm done joking around

I'm no longer the clown

No more looking down

No more looking down at me

I'm a motherfucking eagle now

I'm soaring above the clouds

I'm not so easy to put down

Put my foot down on these motherfuckers throats

This wouldn't be a problem if you just give me what I'm owed

I'm owed a lot, and I

Owe a lot

The original version of this song had a really heavy 808. After sitting with the song, I decided it took away from the track. I took the 808 out of the mix, and instead beefed up the kick drum. The kick and piano are the heart of the track, and I love the feeling they give when they coincide. I don't think every track needs bass, to me its all about a feeling.

[HOOK]

Take it outta my

(Take it outta my)

(2x)

This verse is dedicated to my pops. The hardest working man I have ever known. Thank you for showing me what it means to be a father, and for still giving me someone to look up to.

[VERSE 2]

This reminds me of a sunday morning

Not a sound in the house, but my mamma snoring

She snores so loud, my dad don't sleep with her no more

I think they still in love, they just need some space tho

Married 40 years, I could learn a lot from them

Like how my mom is patient with my dad

All he does is work, theres nothing else he has time for

I don't know how you can cope with that

I can learn a lot from that man tho

He puts away his ego when I'm feeling low

And thats like, most the time

He's always provided for his family

Rough around the edges, but he's soft on the inside

He's got a kind heart, and the best smile

I don't think I say I love you enough, but I do

And I gotta tell you

I never stopped looking up to you

Family is a burden, but a blesing too

I don't think I could ever feel your shoes

[HOOK]

Take it outta my

(Take it outta my)

(4x)

The outro instrumental was made around 2021-2022 on a prophet rev 2 synth, I played everything on it. I have had this loop for such a long time, I knew I always wanted to use it. So simple, but so satisfying to listen to. Once I made the tracklist, I knew this would be a perfect transitional piece between "Outta My" & "Aberration".

Aberration means - "A departure from what is normal, usual, or expected, typically one that is unwelcome."

.Aberration

[HOOK]

Told the sun I'ma run away

Told the moon I'ma run away

Told myself I'ma run away

Well, maybe another day

(2x)

Copy of Black and White Clean New Single Release Music Poster (1080 x 1350 px).zip - 12.J

[VERSE]

Back and forth I go, through my mind

Outta space, and outta time

Why does it always seem I'm chasing time

Why do I always feel like I'm behind

In a world of endless possibilities

It's just you and me stuck inbetween these sheets

I try to escape my mind often

Often I'm alone outside in the darkness looking at the sea of stars

Hopefully i can make a canoe to reach 'em one day

I don't know why I've always looked to outer space to solve my problems

Maybe it's because I feel so out of touch with everybody

I'd rather escape to the moon, than talk to anybody

Floating around in space, and my mind is kind of similar

Nothing seems to touch, but everything connects

Everything would be so much simpler

If I could just rocket-away to another planet

I never plan my problems, but they always seem to find me

Like it's destined to happen

Like it's on the back of a fortune cookie

Or something

How ironic

I'm trying to run away from the things that made me who I am

[HOOK]

Told the sun I'ma run away

Told the moon I'ma run away

Told myself I'ma run away

Well, maybe another day

(2x)

This entire song was made in no more than 30 minutes. I had been sitting on this sample for months, and one day it just clicked. I was supposed to be at some family event or something in about an hour. While my wife was getting ready, I decided to record something real quick. I listened to the sample and immediately came up with the hook. I couldn't get to my mic fast enough. For most of the recording process of this album, this was the norm. In fact most of the album songs was recorded over just a sample chop/instrument with no drums, later on I would add drums/percussion.

.I Just Wanna Be

[PRE HOOK]

I Just

Wanna be normal

Falling apart at the seems, oh no

Are you looking

Are you looking at me, oh no

[HOOK]

I just

Wanna Be

I just

Wanna Be

(2x)

This song is about wanting to be normal, or at least looked at normaly. After my accident I had a lot of issues. Some of those issues made people treat me in a way that I wasn't use to.

[VERSE 2]

I just wanna be normal for once

What is that anyway?

Gotta get out anyway

Gotta get it anyway I can

When did my injury become my whole identity?

(Huh?)

When did my life turn into a simulation?

When did people start looking at me

Like I'm so fragile?

If you can't be there for me, please just go

I'm sick of being the burden nobody wants to be around

When did I lose my smile?

When did I start looking down?

How did it go from this to that?

When did I become Mr. Slack?

How did I get pushed to the back?

[HOOK]

I just

Wanna Be

I just

Wanna Be

(2x)

This song almost didn't make the album. I wasn't sure about it, but one day I played it for my friend, and he said it sounded like the heart of the album. I think he was right. Being a couple years seperated from the making of this track, I can see now what a mistake it would have been to leave it off.

[VERSE 1]

Me for once

Tired of the fake facade

Tired of the fake shit

Tired of the fake jobs

Tired of ya darling

Tired of ya mamma

Tired of ya daddy

Tired of this bullshit

[VERSE 3]

Outside your window

I could cry

Rain is falling

Fourth of july

All I feel is smoke inside

All I know is I'm not alright

I haven't been for some time

Why do I depend on you?

Why did I put my faith in you?

Why can't I just cut you lose?

Maybe I like the pain

Maybe I like this thing

Maybe I'll light this thing

Maybe I'll run away

Maybe I'll be normal then

The final version of this song on the album was not the original one that I made. After switching from a laptop to desktop computer, I lost many files. I had to remake the beat from scratch. In the end I think it was for the best, this version is a lot more grounded, and matches the theme of the lyrics a lot more.

.Dance With You

I was working on a different album whean I made this song. At the time I thought I was finished with "Too Close", but after finishing this song, I knew it had to be on the album. To me this song best represents the true meaning of the project. This song was made relatively quickly, I find that most of my best songs are. I did all of the verses back to back, and after listening back to it for the first time, I broke down crying. This song was such a therapy session for me, a weight that I have been carrying around for years was gone.

[PRE]

Back in 09'

My mamma

Gave me a 64' Impala

[VERSE 1]

It pissed my sister off

She was crying

While listening to Lady Antebellum

(Do you remember that band?)

Don't worry I haven't even drove the car yet

It's sitting in a garage somewhere rusting away

Maybe I should sell it

But really I'm trying to carry on a family legacy

I don't understand

Can't anybody see me?

I don't understand

Why doesn't anyone notice me

(Where have you gone?)

I've been thinking lately

How much my momma amazes me

I was so fortunate to grow up in loving family

But here I am

Still bitching

And yes I still, got problems

I don't think any child of love doesn't

I don't think anyone has a perfect cousin

I know you must've been going through your own things

But it wouldv'e been nice

If you wouldv'e helped me

When your best friend was on top of me

Late at night beating the shit out of me

But you didn't

And that shit made me cry

Not in front of you

I wouldn't shed a single tear

I didn't want to give you, or your the satisfaction

And let you think that I like abuse

i'm not a victim, and I never played one

But I rolled over that night, and I became one

I cried all night, I didn't get a wink of sleep

Face burning, tears in my eyes

And it stings

I broke down

Not because of what happened to me

But because I lost who I thought you were

(To me, To me)

And what you meant to me

A friend, a brother

Not a fucking stranger

[HOOK]

Back in 09'

My mamma

Gave me a 64' Impala

And I finally felt like

Somebody noticed me

[VERSE 2]

I've never been a car person

But believe me, that night I tried to become one

Thankful to my family, and wanted to become closer

Tired of being the black sheep, and outkast

And I'd much rather be alone in my room

Listening to music

Fantasizing about things that were to come

Maybe they will

I'd pretend that I'd madfe it big off of music

Fantasizing about radio show interviews

Thinking about the questions that they'd ask me

Who's your biggest inspirations in music?

Or in life in general?

Huh, let me think

Well, we got

Mac Miller

Andre 3000

And Monte Booker

Oh yeah, and we got

9th Wonder

One of the best producers alive If II do say so

But nobody really asks me that stuff

Snap back to reality

Nobody gives a fuck

Why would they?

I know that I'm a nobody to nobody

But that doesn't mean that I don't mean anything to anyone

Does it?

And I guess I should be offended

Nobody my whole life tried to get to know me

At least not the real one at least

Roll with the punches until they hurt me

Thanks to you they did

And remember I was just a little kid

And that night I learned that blood isn't thicker than water

My chosen family always has my

Back, more so than that family tree

Throwing shade at me, constantly

How about you get a grip on reality for once?

Wake the fuck up for once

Feelings hurt too long

Please don't ask me to

Feelings hurt too long

Please don't ask me to

[HOOK]

Back in 09'

My mamma

Gave me a 64' Impala

And I finally felt like

Somebody noticed me

(2x)

[OUTRO]

And speaking of inspirations

My mom is the biggest one

Thankfull to you

And all that you've done

My whole life

You was the only one

Who took an interest in me

And tried to find out who I was

Love you mom

Thanks for seeing me

I see you too

.Night Terrors

[VERSE 1]

They say I was

Getting too close for comfort

Looking over my shoulder

Everyday I'm worried about the past tense

Not the present future

Every night I try not to cry myself to sleep

Worried about these things that constantly eat at me

[PRE]

You constantly eat at me

(yes you do)

Please let me go free

[VERSE 2]

Eyes closed but I can't go to sleep (no, no, no)

Night terror's keep me awake no matter how hard I dream Everyday I feel a little more pathetic be..

Everyday I feel a little more pa..

Everyday I feel a little more pathetic because of you

And my mind never constitutes solitude

On this solid ground I walk, but it's shattering

On this solid ground I walk, but it's crumbling

And my mind is never steady 'less I'm flowing again

Haven't picked up a pen since I don't know when

Haven't felt a sense of normality since I began

Making music is the only thing that I have, left

[HOOK]

When these dreams turn to nightmares

(when they, when they, when they)

When these dreams turn to nightmares

Are you scared?

[VERSE 3]

I use to not be afraid of anything

But that was foolish

Now everyday I'm walking on eggshells

Because I'm terrified

I'm terrified that I won't love you like I use to

I'm terrified I won't be a good father to my son

(WOW)

I use to pray every night that I would have a son

Now I don't know if I want one, because I don't wanna be a

Dissapointment of a father that can't have no fun

What kind of person would I be if I stuck him with one

I mean

What kid wants to be stuck with someone like me

I get off the floor and I'm already dizzy

Driving in the car going to his baseball games

I might not make it tho, because I had a seizure on the way

And I can see his little face

Looking in the crowd with dissapointment because I'm not there

Believe me

I know the feeling, and that shit cuts deep

I wanna be your bestfriend, but I don't know if I can be

[HOOK]

When these dreams turn to nightmares

(when they, when they, when they)

When these dreams turn to nightmares

Are you scared?

[PRE]

You constantly eat at me

(yes you do)

Please let me go free

.Days Like This

[INTRO]

Walk outside of my city, ugh

Days like this I've been tripping on

[HOOK]

Walk outside of my city

(ugh)

Days like this I've been tripping

(on)

I can't believe your still with me

(ugh)

Days like this I've been dreaming

(on)

(2x)

[VERSE 1]

Walk outside of my city

I feel like a new man

Walking with confidence I still got no plans

Moving differently ever since I got out on my own

Recording everyday I've been in a different zone

All it took me to grow was to realize

I'm not actually worthless

I can actually fly

I'm the only one at the center of my own demise

I've been holding myself back for years

I told myself I couldn't

[PRE]

Fly, fly, fly

(I told myself I couldn't)

(2x)

[VERSE 2]

Little sorry ole me

I can't help but to grieve

I been stuck in my ways

I been changing of late

Lately I've been going through this thing where

I can't see nobody but myself, yeah

Maybe it's about time I put myself first

Everybody I put before me, hurt me the worst

I'm the biggest villain in this story

(yeah, yeah, yeah)

I put myself on that cross

(yeah, yeah, yeah)

Come and crucify me

Theres no one beside me

Just myself, and my self defining flaws

[HOOK]

Walk outside of my city

(ugh)

Days like this I've been tripping

(on)

I can't believe your still with me

(ugh)

Days like this I've been dreaming

(on)

(2x)

.Early Bird / Sylvia

The yin & yang of the album, somber rememberance, and thrasing anger.

Dedicated to my grandmother

[VERSE 1]

Yeah

Looking outside on this beautiful evening

It's kinda cloudy, and gloomy, but I like it this way

Even when it's not storming outisde

It's storming on the inside of my brain,

But I like it this way

Dark skies bring more comfort on the inside

Feeling the rain on my skin

I feel like I'm alright

Uncomfortable in my skin, I'm hardly outside

I'm hardly outside

Never outside of my brain, but it's quite lovely

Just a joke to God, but my life is not funny

Laughing it up in the clouds

I bet he feels so chummy

I wonder what you think about me now since you've past

Ever since you died

It's hard for me to even, laugh

I grit my teeth when I smile, because I'm so closed off

Not use to feeling happiness anymore, I'd rather just fend it off

What do you think about this, are you shaking your head at me?

Or , are you laughing in confidence in my humility

Ever since you've died I hardly talk to grandpa anymore

I can barley look him in the eyes without thinking of the Lord

I've become so consumed with anger, and I feel ignored

I wish you was still here with me to help me with this new behaviour

I'm spiraling out, and I don't know who to ask for help

I can't turn to my family they've all turned their backs on me

At least latley that's how I feel

I feel so alone

With each month brings a new struggle that I have to face alone

Last night I had a seizure that I had to face alone

These are some things I'm dealing with

All alone

@ 2:13 my dog "Leia" can be heard in the background whining. It added so much to the track, that decided to leave it in. Honestly most of my songs are that way, somewhere in the background you will hear many "happy accidents".

[HOOK]

I guess the early bird gets the worm

Something they always say, I never learn

(2x)

I recorded this song on a rainy day in the kitchen at my moms house with all of the lights turned off. I just opened the curtains and looked out the window while I made the song. This was probably the third demo I made for the album, and after recording this song I knew that there would be an album.

[PRE]

Am I meant to be?

All alone

[VERSE 2]

After you died

I bought your house in hopes to restore it

Hoping it restores my life, even tho I can't afford it

This is all for you, and I hope brings a smile to your face

I hope it makes you happy, looking at me living in your favorite place

Beginning my life where you lost yours

I don't know what to feel, that's for sure

I keep praying you come through the door

I don't know if I can do this anymore

Put a brave face for everybody, hoping they continue to ignore

Ignore my feelings and fears, in hopes they just get bored

[HOOK]

I guess the early bird gets the worm

Something they always say, I never learn

(2x)

[PRE]

Am I meant to be?

All alone

1739305011571-0d4f6b9d-0da4-4df7-aeaf-77

1739305101276-c0f91cf6-9791-4728-8da0-6f

[VERSE]

Crying in a dimley lit shower

Listening to Phoebe Bridgers

Garden Song is my anthem, this is a

Daily occurrence

I never thought this would be my twenties, but I never thought that I would live to see 'em

Sylvia would be so proud of me

Making this song in her home as we speak, I put the

Pills away, the gun down, the knife away

I chose not to kill myself , I chose me

I chose life after all of this misery

After all this fucked up shit happened to me, religiously

It's almost like they wrote a book on how to hurt me

And I'm the biggest..

(hu, fuck)

Sylvia would be so proud of me

Looking at her photograph as we speak

Hey grandma, I remodeled that bathroom just like you always wanted to

I hope you like the

Colors that I picked just for you

You've been on my mind lately, can't you tell

And no matter what people say to me

I stopped giving a fuck, because I know that you'd be proud of me

Hey sylvia I miss you dearly

I miss the way your cigarettes smell on my clothes

Hey sylvia I miss you dearly

I still try to remember the last thing that you told

Hey sylvia I miss you dearly

(fuck)

Hey sylvia I miss you dearly

I wish I could go back when you was still getting old

The main kick on "Sylvia" is just me stomping really loud, and the snare is me smacking a desk with drumsticks. All recorded through the sm7b mic.

.BLUE

[VERSE]

This is a hard story to tell

Trying to shed my inner shell

To show you my true self

The year was 2014, and I was looking at other girls

I told you I wasn't

I lied to your face because I didn't want to lose my world

Your love was the only one I ever knew I would need

I fell to temptation and growing pains, I swear that's not me

At least that's not who I am anymore

I have you to thank for that, that's for sure

(that's for sure)

I never meant to hurt you, even tho it feels that way

Your the strongest person I ever met, you don't deserve this pain

When I first saw you cry, I knew I wanted to be a better man

I tried my best to change and I think I did, but I'm still hoping you can understand

We've been through ups and downs, mostly downs

But we stayed by each others sides, even when the world wants to put us down

You got in a car wreck, and I thought you were going to die

I rushed to the hospital as fast as I can, I thought I was going to die

You were bed ridden for six months, I took care of your every need

It made our love grow stronger, and I even began to appreciate peace

Shortly after I suffered a brain injury

You stayed by my side even tho you could leave

You held my hand through my first seizure

That's when I knew I would never be alone, and I hope you know that you won't either

Your the bravest person I ever met

Through all of this you still go to school, and pay the rent

You put a big smile on my face everyday and even let me vent

I'm sorry I'm so closed off to

And I never open up to you

That's why I'm making this song for you, in hopes to make it up to you

I'm trying to show you my heart and tell you how I really feel

I'm so in love with you and every single day I look up to you

I don't know why you choose me even tho I'm not good enough for you

You make me wanna be a better person, and for that I'm done hiding from you

I love you forever no matter what you do

I love you endlessly

Baby Blue.

This song was made one night in the midst of some of the worst insomnia I've ever had. It was 3am and I found this gorgeous sample, I loaded it into fl studio without doing anything to it and looped it for 100 bars. I let it play, and rapped over it until I had nothing else to say. Almost the entire verse was one take all of the way through. I guess there is something about making songs at 3am, that let you be more vunerable and have a fluid strand of thoughts. When I finished this song, I knew right away that it would be the outro to the album.

[HOOK]

Baby, blue

I love you

(2x)

[OUTRO]

Untill the next voyage

My friend